Walk the Walk
Whether you are a new believer, a long-time believer or a pre-believer this podcast is for you! Walk the Walk will help answer some questions you may have. I will talk about the Bible...and what it means to me. Not only will I share, but guests will be invited to share their own stories on how God is moving in their lives. You will be encouraged, uplifted and hopefully you will want to seek God to be a part of your life. You are welcome here.
Walk the Walk
Embracing Healing Through Faith: Vi Nguyen's Path to Forgiveness and Self-Worth
When faced with a past that haunts and a future uncertain, where does one turn? Our guest, Vi Nguyen, bravely shares his compelling journey of transformation, faith, and healing with us, offering invaluable lessons on forgiveness and self-worth. Vi's powerful story begins with a childhood marred by feelings of rejection and the struggle to reconcile his cultural identity, only to find solace and strength in his unwavering bond with Jesus Christ. His experiences serve as a beacon of hope for those wrestling with their own ghosts, demonstrating how faith can guide us through the darkest of times.
Navigating the choppy waters of forgiveness, especially when the person in question is beyond our reach, can be a daunting task. Vi offers a deeply personal insight into this process, sharing his method of releasing past grievances through prayer and symbolic acts like burning written sorrows. His testimony isn't just about letting go, but also about the ongoing challenges of re-forgiveness when old wounds resurface. Listen to how self-conversation becomes a tool for maintaining one's peace and how faith has been Vi's anchor, keeping him grounded through life's unpredictable storms since his pivotal commitment to Christ in 1996.
In our lives, doubt can be a relentless adversary, but the journey to self-discovery is rife with opportunities to affirm our worth. Vi enlightens us with his approach to tackling life's daily challenges with patience and the crucial role of faith in overcoming skepticism. Vi's story reminds us that trust and genuine relationships are the cornerstones of not only successful business ventures but a fulfilling life.
Hello and welcome to Walk the Walk. This is where we explore diverse journeys of faith. Across the board, we have people who have been in many different places throughout their life, and today I have a special guest that is going to talk to us about his childhood into adulthood and his journey with Jesus Christ. So I want you to help me in welcoming Vy Nguyen. Hello Vy, how are you doing, tina? I'm well. How are you? I'm doing great today, thank you. So did you have a busy day so far?
Vy:Yeah, kind of a crazy morning, but the afternoon is a lot better.
Tina:Well, you know what? This is also your opportunity to do a shameless plug of your business, but that might come in later, but if it doesn't, I want to make sure I say something about it at the end, okay?
Vy:Yes, thank you.
Tina:Vy, wants to talk to us, or I want Vy to talk to us about his journey as a young man. And so, steve, I want you to just kind of dive in a little bit about what kind of took place when you were young.
Vy:You know I'm the third child out of four kids and you know, throughout my whole life I've never felt really wanted or loved. And as I got older when I say older, starting around eight years old, you know I just I was introduced with Christ in my life and ran from Christ for, you know, for a very long time, because I just felt like God made a mistake when he made me, never felt like I fit it in anywhere.
Tina:So what did it look like? Not to fit in, like, give me examples of like okay, I'm what. Why do you feel that way? Or did?
Vy:you, out of all four kids I'm the only one that graduate high school. You know, reading and writing was a struggle for me, where my other siblings just excelled at that, you know, they were all good looking, you know. You know everybody has straight teeth and it just with me. Everything was a struggle, like you know, couldn't wrap my brain around a lot of things and couldn't comprehend a lot of things. And you know, just growing up, like when I was born, I was really really sick and later I would find out from my dad that he had to work overtime to get certain medicine to keep me alive and and throughout my childhood I would hear from my mom and my dad that they should have never got the medicine and they should have let me die and and stuff like that.
Vy:And and it's just, it was just a real struggle, just trying to fit in. You know, at that time when we came to America, you know Asian people didn't, you know we weren't really accepted because the war was over and you know, and people felt like we, you know the Vietnamese community killed their, their loved ones in the war because they felt like they shouldn't have been over in Vietnam, you know. So just coming over just trying to fit in and you know I blinked a lot. You know I was overweight and I was scrawny, I stuttered. You know crooked teeth, ugly smile and and and, on top of that, being left-handed. So I felt at a very young age that, you know, everything was stacked against me and and even God, you and it made me wrong, or that's what I felt at the time.
Tina:That's so interesting because you and I first met you had posted something on Facebook or something, and Jeff and I came to your house and purchased what you were selling. And the funny thing is is you Said your name was Steve and that's how I have known you for years, is Steve? And until Yvette would tell us she would call you Vy, and I thought, why? Why is she calling him that name? What, what's? Tell me the significance of the Steve and Vy.
Vy:You know, I always wanted to be growing up, I always wanted to be white. I even dyed my hair blonde at a young age because, you know, I just wanted to be, I just wanted to fit into the you know, I guess, the American society. And at that time, you know, trying to meet girls and trying to meet people, and in the same my name was Vy. They kind of laughed at me. So at age 12. I just decided to start calling myself Steve and from there on, you know, people kind of like me a little better because even though I looked Asian, I had an American name and I felt more accepted. And so I've been going with Steve since I was 12 years old until maybe about two years I'm not about four years ago when I got my real estate license. Everything I do has to be with my birth name. So I slowly transitioned back to V about four years ago and I still struggle with it.
Tina:I'm not gonna lie, but I know that you know when I say it. I think you know that really is a negative for you for me to call you Steve. So I really struggle with Vy, but I'm working on it. So tell me, you kind of alluded to the difficulty that you had as a child. Tell me about your relationship with your parents.
Vy:My dad was very abusive and my mom was very passive and in the Vietnamese culture, you know, the wife really kind of stepped back and let the dad, you know, run the show and she, she wouldn't dare to speak up. It's then, you know, if not, she'll get the, the punishment also. So my dad would drink a lot and he would beat me and my brother pretty bad with bamboo sticks and and then after that, you know, we lived in Florida where it's very hot and humid, and after he beat us he would throw us in a shed where you store long, you know, lawn equipment he was stores in there. He would just stick us in there for hours, you know. And so my dad, you know we started drinking and stuff like that. He just got really Nasty physically, but then when he's not drinking he would just get nasty with this verbally.
Vy:You know, I heard daily how dumb I was, how I have mounted nothing, how I'll never be come nothing. So you know, growing up I I was one of my dad's love and acceptance, but I never got it. And when I found out he committed suicide in 2001 or 2002, you know, I felt a relief. I felt I was, I was excited, I was happy because I was young and dumb at the time. I couldn't comprehend that. I just felt happy that he was gone out of my life.
Tina:Wow, that that sounds horrible. That life Now and I hear what you're saying is you felt happy about that? How did that affect you as an adult? I mean, was there any guilt in that? Was there a time where you had to try to come to grips with the fact that your dad was gone? Was there any amends on his part? What happened with that?
Vy:You know, being surrounded by good Christians, I finally found peace to forgive my dad because I had a real good friend of mine, great Christian, great root of friend of mine, named Rand. He said V, you know, just to let you know. You know, hurt, people hurt and and that's all they know sometimes and that's all they give out, you know, and for a long time I Struggle, forgiving my dad but I finally forgave my dad because I will go through like a restaurant on a Sunday or McDonald's, and I would see a son with their, their dad and and their dad would be like you know, can I have a Sunday? And the Sunday, and the son would be like, yes, dad, you can have that, but you have to eat first. And you know, it's just sort of things in life that I see that I'll never experience and I'll never have with my dad and it bothers me on a day-to-day basis.
Vy:But at the end of the day, looking back, you know my dad had a very Rough, rough upbringing in Vietnam. You know he did the best he could For what he had. And, looking at my life with my kids, I wasn't a great father. You know, I learned from my dad and and it hindered my relationship with my daughter. But you know, I over focus on never beating my daughter, but I hyper focus on the physical side. But I, I, I mentally, sometimes you know mentally abused her that way. I beat her with my tongue instead of my hands and at that time that's when I realized my dad did the best he could with what he had.
Tina:When did you come to grips with the fact that I have to forgive? I have to forgive my dad. When did that you know?
Vy:When you, when you walk with the Lord and you realize Jesus Christ, forgiven, have done all that stuff for you, you know to be a Christian and continue to grow in your faith, in your walk, you have to start People on that onion and you got to start burning your past and asking for forgiveness and to forgive the people that you know that that supposedly love you. And that's how I found forgiveness and and for my dad.
Tina:But did you? You did not, or we're not able to physically Ask your dad for forgiveness because he had already passed. Is that correct?
Vy:Correct. Yeah, he's been gone since 2002.
Tina:So how do you get through that? What's that process look like when I need to ask for forgiveness from somebody that's not around anymore?
Vy:A real good friend of mine actually a real pastor, an old pastor friend of mine told me sometimes the people that you need to forgive and ask forgiveness for may not be around. He says, put it on a postcard and just stack them up on a postcard and start a fire and say a prayer over each postcard and throw it in the fire. And I started doing that probably five or six years ago and it's really helped me because, you know, at that time I've done all I can and I can't seek them for forgiveness and the only way that I can truly give it and leave it in the past is just to write it, verbalize it and then burn it.
Tina:Have you ever found yourself writing the same thing over and over?
Vy:Yes, numerous of times, you know, and for different people and for the same people. You know, sometimes I'll go fine, I'll do fine, and then something would trigger and I fall into this little depression again and then doing that sometimes get me through it and, plus being with other Christians too, they pray over it and they pray over me to help me along the way.
Tina:Yeah, I've talked to other people who have gone through the same thing and they say I thought I laid it down. I thought I thought I was really, truly forgiving somebody. And I do the same thing, I'm not going to lie. I've had times where I thought, okay, I'm good, I've forgiven, I feel like I'm not rehashing this over and over and something triggers it, like you know, it's like I thought I was through this. What do you say to that? Do you have any recommendations on how somebody can get through that?
Vy:You know a lot of times. To get through it, I think you have to sit down and just really just talk to yourself and just tell yourself hey, you know what? Why are you carrying this burden that you're already given away? Why do you continue to put this, this, this, all this weight on your shoulders when you can't grow? And when I started telling myself that and then I also tell myself too is you know, look at where you were a year ago with the same problem and look at where you are now. You know it may feel different. I'm sorry, it may feel the same, but the path of forgiveness is not as much as it was every single day. It can go every other day, it can go every other month. So that's to me, that's progress in your forgiveness to other people.
Tina:Yeah, and forgiveness is really a tough thing, and I'm sure you've heard that people say forgiveness is about me, not necessarily the person. I'm forgiven. People do things to other people and they're long gone, but the behavior or what they've done to you stays with you. And what people don't realize is how, how unhealthy that is for us to to keep all that inside of us, because, I mean, even if the person has not passed, they have no clue that they're still affecting your life. And so I think that, true, forgiveness is a challenge and I think some people just you know, they need to hear the fact that you know other people do it and can get through it. Sometimes it's just just depend upon how hurtful, how hurtful something is. So tell me, can you tell me a little bit about your walk with Jesus today?
Vy:You know, my walk has been really like a roller coaster ride. You know, my neighbor brought Christ in my life when I was eight years old. And when you're eight years old you go to church and you hear how, you hear how powerful, how great this God is and we love and protect His children. And you go home to a very abusive family and you can't beat daily and you hear daily how dumb you are and after each beating and after each tongue bashing, you lay there and you're waiting for this God to come, take you out of this situation, because you're young, you don't understand that. You know that he doesn't come and just take you out of there, you know. So after a while you keep going to church and then you repeat the same thing going home. You lay there and you start believing that even maybe God doesn't even want you, maybe you're just a dumb kid and you're just whoever, and God doesn't even want to save you. So you grow resentment towards this God that you think you know, and then you just start blaming God for everything and you just run from Him. For so many years, and you know so.
Vy:I did that for a long time. I went and then, when I was 16, you know, god brought this, you know this guy, into my life and Dan the barber, and you know he started planting his seed and I started running and you know I just kept on running from Him, no matter who he brought in front of me, I just kept on bashing God. They got the God's not real God's not there, you know. And then in 1996, I really that's when I kind of found God in 1996. But my walk with Him at that time was really off and on. I didn't really understand it. You know, went to church, shake hands, life's great Good, you know God's good. And you go home and you know you're fighting with your wife and yelling at your kids and looking at, you know, porn or you know whatever you were doing at that, whatever I was doing at the time, you know, and never really felt the connection with God, you know.
Vy:So I lived a long life then and then 2004, 2005, kind of, I met Yvette and we started our relationship with Christ and that's when I truly, truly felt the connection with God for the probably the first, you know, four to five years, you know, felt really connected with God and I kind of lost my way for a while and you know, 2013,. You know God gave me a reality check, you know, I ran so much I'd focus on my business me, you know, trying to prove to the world that I'm not stupid. And now I'll become something in my eyes in 2013. I thought I made it, you know, get recognized and my business was successful. And I did some stupid stuff.
Vy:And God gave me a reality check, you know, at that point. And that's when I realized, you know, there's more in life. I have to give my life to God, truly give my life to God. And it's been a roller coaster ride since then and I felt more connected with God in the past two and a half years and I've did my whole entire life. You know, when you're divorced and you're sitting at home and the demons come out, you learn a lot about yourself and you realize how much God and the Holy Spirit is surrounding you in those moments, if you allow him in. And so you know, I'm still a work in progress, but I trust the Lord now more and I focus and I surround myself by, you know, more Christian people that can help me better build my relationship with God.
Tina:Yeah, isn't that tough. I think it's even tougher on us when we know we're just putting on a facade, when we know that when you walk into the church if you could, I think I've heard myself say, oh, if they only knew, like Jeff and I had a fight before we got here today, or if they only knew you know behaviors that we certainly would not show in church. That's tough. I think that's an internal battle we all have with trying to be that perfect person for God, and we know that that's just not possible.
Vy:No, you're right, because sometimes as Christians, we don't want to let other Christians know that we failed. You know and not to say this to be you know, but you know some Christians are the hardest people to make happy. You know you have a lot of Christian people that are waiting to pounce on for you to fail so they can say something. And you know, and it makes harder for Christians that are coming up to realize that, hey, you know it's okay to fail, because you know we shouldn't judge anybody. You know, and a lot of, I feel a lot of Christian communities, especially the older ones, they tend to judge a younger community and younger Christians. You know well, you fail, you shouldn't do that. You shouldn't do that, you know, and I think that's why so many people run from churches, because of that reason.
Tina:I agree, I think, yeah, I think it's really hard to be a Christian as it is, but to be even a young Christian, and I think we're so busy trying to tell other people what they're doing wrong, when in fact we need to just keep into our own business. And you know, I thought, I think I saw something on Facebook yesterday where somebody said I'm going to be sending you all W2 because you all been in my business so much.
Tina:But, it is the truth. I know it's really hard. I'm probably I think sometimes I'm really bad at that like why can't you be? And then I think, tina, what about you? You know what about you? And so, yeah, it's really tough. So tell me, what do you think you could do now to make your walk even better with Jesus?
Vy:You know, I had this vision in my head. I put a post on Facebook a few days ago and after I got done, the Lord revealed to me. You know, to me, guy made it, made us all different for a reason, and it took me a long time to realize that he gave me this vision. You know, let's say you're a baker and you, you want to make eight cookies. So you buy this packet and if you follow this instructions you add this milk at this egg, whip it You'll get eight perfect cookies. So you follow the instructions and by the time you get done mixing it, you you patty it and you form it on the baking sheet. And you, on the baking sheet, you have eight perfect round cookies that look beautiful. And then you look into the bowl and there's this little bit of mountain left and and you know you're looking at it You're like, well, I don't want to throw it away, but I can't form it and I can't make it look like the other cookies. So what do you do? You just grab it and you throw it on the cookie sheet and you put it in the oven. When it comes out, you got eight perfect cookies and one messed up looking cookie.
Vy:You know to me. God showed me that he didn't make you know what. He made me different for a reason than my siblings, because, you know, at that time, for whatever reason, he had a plan for me and he had a path for me, even though I look different then and I was different then. That little, that little cookie, or that you know in God's term that black sheep is gonna come around and do something that he has planned and and knowing that now it makes me feel that you know what? Yes, my journey took a long time Because my took my journey took a long time because I couldn't get out of my own way, in my own head, from blaming him for everything. And now I look at things and I'm like you know what. I'm happy to be, a who I am. I'm different from anybody else and I can teach other people other things that no one can has ever been through, and that helps me With my walk every morning when I get up.
Tina:I think the other thing to note is that all those cookies taste the same. I mean they're just as delicious, all of them are equally delicious, but they look different and and I think that you know it's good to hear People look different and people should look different. I mean we should. That's what God created. Otherwise we'd all look the same. And when you hate it if everybody had to look like me.
Vy:Oh, I know that won't be good.
Tina:So Get, tell me, or tell our listening audience, what do you recommend for them if they're going through the same kind of thing. They may not be going to specifically what you've gone through, but kind of that self doubt and self Dislike. What would you recommend for them?
Vy:You know to me, it'll take time for you to feel comfortable in your own skin and be comfortable in what you bring to the table. And you know, just just, be patient, because God will reveal to you, like he revealed to me. I'll be 52 years old this year. It took, it took me, to get to 52 years old to finally realize my worth and what I bring to the table as your husband, a father, a Christian, a brother or sister or whatever it is.
Vy:You know just, you know the shepherd's coming. You know the shepherd's gonna come for you and when he and what he does, he's gonna reveal to you why you took the path, why he had that path for you. So you know, when you feel like giving up, don't give up. You know the world can give up on you, but you have to wake up every morning and look in that mirror and say you know what I got this day, and don't say I got this, say I got this day, because every day is different and every day bring different challenges. And I think if you get to that mindset and realize you know what, yes, I'm lost, but the shepherd's coming and the shepherd's gonna review to me my next steps.
Tina:And I think it's important that we hear that God brings people into our lives at different times. For you and I and Jeff, you brought you into our life but it kinda it was well. I know I've always had a lot of fun. Whenever you're around we have almost maybe too much fun. But you know, I did not really know who you were, I didn't know the troubles that you were going through or whatever, but you were such a blessing to Jeff and I and I'm gonna do a little shameless plug here for V in the fact that we were not wanting to sell our house.
Tina:When we first met V, we were buying and address a bathroom vanity, right, something like that, and Jeff was gonna repurpose it, which he did, and it was beautiful and it was something I always wanted. But then the rest of the story will tell you why I didn't get to always have it or have it. We had mentioned slightly to Steve of V excuse me that we wanted possibly we're gonna sell our house. Well, his ears perked up and he's like, oh, I can come over and help you with that and I thought, who is this guy? But you know, I thought, okay, come on over. Well, before you know it.
Tina:Long story short, I hope that he ended up helping us sell our house, but Steve has a business that is so incredible and it was such a blessing to us. It allowed us to sell our home because Steve did the contract work and Steve also is a real estate agent, so he did the repairs that he felt we needed and then sold our home and we got so much more money out of that house from what he did. So I'm gonna let Steve finish this and do a little blurb here for his business.
Vy:I appreciate that. Tina, thank you very much for that. And you know, when I first started this venture, I prayed about it and, as we know, there's like 6,000 agents in central Ohio and I want it to be different. And, evette, and I prayed about it and the Lord said float the remodel money. So what I do differently is, if you wanna put your house on the market and you don't have money to put into it, if you hire me as your contractor and your real estate agent, I'll do all the remodel work, no money out of your pocket until we sell the property, and I get paid from the proceeds of the sell your property.
Vy:And ever since I started that business venture, it's been nonstop for me. You know the Lord has blessed me with homes after homes and clients after clients. And when I start to worry about things, you know what God says I got you and I get a phone call and it's another listing or another something or a contract works. So I've been very blessed and I follow. You know, evette and I we follow his path and in my business and he says he has blessed me ever since.
Tina:And it really was remarkable because I remember me wanting to make this change and that change and I remember you saying look, there's a little. Sometimes there's just too much, let's let. And so Steve was V was very good at saying this is what we need to do. People are gonna come in and change this. You're just gonna waste your money. So he was very good at helping us know what changes. And I'll never forget and this is the last thing I'll say about it is we went on vacation and I got a text from V and Evette. They were at our house that we were selling, remodeling our deck, and it was like this guy is true business. I mean, this is a guy who has a heart for helping people sell their homes. So, jeff, and I have been forever grateful to you for that. We do miss that home, by the way, I'm just saying.
Vy:But and I really appreciate you guys trusting me because you're like you know this guy's on Facebook. We're buying a vanity. Now we're trusting him with his home, with our home, and I'm really glad you guys did.
Tina:We even let him into our home. You guys are trusting me in doing that. We even let him come into our home, but it was perfect, it was a great setup. And then I you know, when you look back at those things, you're like that's how God does it he brings people into your life that would never otherwise be there. But now look at us. We consider ourselves to be great friends and I feel blessed that you are our friend and I hope you feel the same way.
Vy:Thank you for having me on here, and I really appreciate it. Thank you.
Tina:Is there anything that I missed that you would like to add?
Vy:Oh no, I think. I think we had all the the important things, I think.
Tina:Good Well to my listening audience. I really appreciate you listening today and if you have any questions or you want V's contact information, I'll make sure we get that posted. But honestly, you can trust him with your home, but I think even more than that, we can trust him as a good friend. So I thank you for listening and, Steve, I told you that was going to be a problem for me. V, thank you very much for being here.
Vy:Thank you very much, tina, I appreciate it.